The men of Bachelor in Paradise really let the power of the rose go to their heads this week and all of the supposedly reformed douche-nozzles showed their true colors on Tuesday's episode. It went a little something like this...
To kick things off we continued our throwback to The Bachelorette with Becca's weird AF visit to the island. She and Colton had their heart-to-heart where he got to ask point blank if Tia wrecked his chances with her. Becca still swears that Tia didn't ruin their chances at love -- she just felt more with the other three guys -- and she just wants Colton to find love on his own. It feels like everyone has accepted that won't be with Tia though, thank God.
Becca did help Colton find some closure though and pushed him to stay and give Paradise chance. She related to him because after the Bachelor producers filmed her devastating heartbreak, she only had a few weeks to get mentally in the mindset to be The Bachelorette. She thinks he should push through the heartache and really find what he wants just like she did! I think she could have saved him a lot (and allowed us more Yuki screen time) if she had thought about how much they relate to each other before she blindsided him on the beach... but what can you do? These producers are savage.
In other news, Chris is "not threatened at all" by Colton, but literally can't stop talking about how threatened he is.
Next, Jordan made his play for villain of the week. Yes, he's funny but he did Annaliese real dirty the second Jenna showed up with her coconuts. He accepted Jenna's date card without even warning Annaliese he was interested in someone else and our poor girl had to watch everyone else -- including Tia -- cheer Jordan on in ditching her. It was rough.
It didn't get better for Annaliese when Jordan and Jenna returned from their date that included horseback riding, blurred butts and beachfront make-outs. The date was "fantastic," Jordan told Annaliese multiple times before confirming he was going to give Jenna his rose -- you know, unless she dumped him and then he would be totally up for giving Annaliese another shot. Dude, seriously?
In another throwback to Becca's season of The Bachelorette, David decided on the same night that Jenna was the only woman on the beach he wanted to talk to. David is obsessed with Jordan and it's just another leftover Becca storyline that no one wants more of, but it did lead to this beautiful A++ Jordan insult. Ugh, he's the worst but he's so entertaining. WHY DOES THIS SHOW DO THIS.
Listen, we need some good news out this whole s--tshow and so we turn to Venmo John who became the most desired bachelor on the entire beach. You have no idea how stressful it was thinking we'd have to choose between Venmo John and Grocery Store Joe, who were both vying for Kendall. Joe won that battle but John got right back in the saddle and scored back-to-back dates -- one with the sweet, if distracted, Caroline and the other with bombshell Jubilee.
It was kind of awkward watching Caroline constantly cut John off to name the animals running around them, but hearing that she was in an emotionally troubling relationship before Paradise made us feel like she deserves a sweetheart like John. It's cute! But Jubilee came in with her Army-toned body, beautiful hair and mega-watt smile and John was basically like, "Caroline, who?" Besides being a knockout, Jubilee is also a genuine nerd and already appreciates John for the gift that he is. But now our sweetheart is also juggling two hearts in his programmer hands...
Back on the beach, Kenny tried to make things official with Krystal but got shut down. This led to an illuminating metaphor about cheese that would have blown our minds except it was intercut with Chris. Making. Out. With. Krystal. No joke, moments after telling Tia that he was "all in" for her, homeboy went and played tonsil hockey with Krystal. He's now officially kissed a blonde and is the grossest dude on the beach. Congrats, sir.
Chris, thinking he's a baller now, bragged to all of his bros about his late-night hook up so half the cast knew about it before breakfast was over, including Colton. Don't worry, Colton still isn't interested in dating Tia, but he at least had enough respect for her to give her a heads up that Chris sucks. This was also underlined by Chris and Jordan having a bro-sesh and comparing women to meal courses, like the stand-up gentlemen they are. We have to wait a whole week to see Tia completely lose her s--t on Chris.
It was a really, really rough week for romance on Paradise this week. Who made your stomach turn the most though? Let's take a poll!
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8/7c on ABC.
Other Links From TVGuide.com
We'd all prefer a world in which Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell) could just relax on the couch with his wife and son while eating ice cream for dinner and never ever, ever getting hurt, but that's not in the cards for Arrow Season 7.
Stephen Amell posted a short video to Twitter Tuesday afternoon that previews the scrapes Oliver will be getting into when the show returns Monday, Oct. 15. From the looks and sounds of things, they won't be pretty. "I've had more physically taxing days in the first four episodes of Season 7 than I've had for the entirety of certain seasons," Amell said. "Just getting the s--- kicked out of me every single day."
When Arrow returns, Oliver will be serving a life sentence in prison, a condition of the agreement he made with the FBI to turn himself in as the Green Arrow. Based on what we've seen in the Season 7 trailer, the inmates in Iron Heights haven't taken too kindly to Oliver's presence, attacking him in the shower and the prison yard. Considering the fact that he and Diggle (David Ramsey) were seen discussing Oliver's ability to not fight back in that same trailer, it makes sense that Amell would be getting the, ahem, stuffing kicked out of him in the first few episodes of the season.
Here's hoping Oliver doesn't spend the whole season in prison, or he'll be nothing but a bloody mess of bruises by the time the year's out!
Arrow returns Monday, Oct. 15 at 8/7c on The CW.
(Full Disclosure: TV Guide is owned by CBS, one of The CW's parent companies.)
Other Links From TVGuide.com
Another reboot. Must be Tuesday.
TVLine reports that Sony is developing a reboot of the popular '90s sitcom Designing Women with original series creator Linda Bloodworth-Thomason. Designing Women, which ran from 1986 until 1993, told the story of four women and a man -- a mixed bag of middle-aged widows/divorcees/former prison inmates -- working at a design firm in Atlanta, Georgia. It starred Dixie Carter, Delta Burke, Annie Potts, Jean Smart and Meshach Taylor.
The potential reboot hasn't been shopped to a network yet, but the original show aired on CBS, and we wouldn't be surprised if the network wanted back in the Designing business, especially since it also recently revived Murphy Brown. It's unclear, though, if any of the original, living cast members (Carter died in 2010, while Taylor passed away in 2014) will return for cameos. However, Potts, who currently stars on Young Sheldon, recently told EW she would be interested in making an appearance should the opportunity arise.
If ordered to series, Designing Women will join Dynasty, Magnum P.I., Heathers, Charmed, Roswell and a mountain of other reboots of '80s and '90s favorites that Hollywood is trying to repackage for a millennial audience. And this reboot could -- and probably should -- follow suit and cast a more diverse group of actors for the updated 2018 audience. In fact, some folks on Twitter are already campaigning for the main cast to be entirely women of color.
If someone doesn't figure out that this should be a remake starring four black women, I can't help you. https://t.co/dlhla0JfzA— Tara Ariano (@TaraAriano) August 14, 2018
Julia: Vanessa Williams— Tara Ariano (@TaraAriano) August 14, 2018
Suzanne: Anika Noni Rose
Mary Jo: Samira Wiley (#TheHandmaidsTale is short, she could do both)
Charlene: Garcelle Beauvais
Anthony: Billy Magnussen
But also, does anyone even need or want a reboot of Designing Women?
Other Links From TVGuide.com